Why I enjoy being a Referee

First things first; why this post belongs on this blog.

I took a slapshot to the left skate last night, bending the frame enough to restrict the movement of the front two wheels. After repairs and relacing, I jumped back into the game. Well, attempted to jump..... I slid over the dasher at the bench and went to put my feet down on the other side, but it was farther down than I anticipated! I took quite a spill, but laughed it off. Fortunately, not too many noticed. I nearly lost my balance at the next face-off, as well, trying to readjust to rediscovered mobility. A little later, I was skating hard to the corner, trying to follow the play, when there was a sudden reversal. I tried to slide-stop, but lost it and skidded to a halt on both knees.

These misfortunes I can easily laugh off, though, especially in light of the most rewarding aspect of hockey refereeing; Watching the Hot Dog fail miserably. This guy, call him 19, walks the Fine Line between jerk and idiot. He's great at not getting caught; an extra whack when I turn away, firing the puck into the opposing bench while trying to clear the zone, etc. Last night, he was sitting on the bench during the game before his. One of the doors was left open and I asked the 3 who were sitting there to get it for me, as I was in the deep zone. They wouldn't budge. He was closest. I glared as he smirked, and I finally had to go do it myself. After a serious run in with the Tough Guys (jerks who can all shoot the puck at about 120 mph) earlier this season, in which I literally feared for my safety, I've taken to the personal policy of not talking with the players at all. So, 19 comes out next game (against the Tough Guys, btw) and proceeds to stink up the rink! He scored one or two, but missed many more opportunities. He plays very little defense of course, and he was hounded by the other team the whole game, forcing at least a dozen turnovers from him. He even fell down once, on his own, away from any other player. Of course against the Tough Guys he's not such a jerk, because he knows he'd get pummeled.

Jerks deserve a dose of misery every now and then.