I have been clean for 3 years, 3 months, and 8 days.
On Sunday, I took my son to see the Clone Wars movie.
I enjoyed it.
Despite being resolutely determined NOT to, I enjoyed it. Perhaps it was because I had such low expectations, after reading all the poor (and poorly written) reviews out there. Perhaps it was because my son, it’s intended audience, thought it was sewper kewl. Perhaps it was because we sat way up in the front, which provides a radically different perspective on whatever is on the screen. Regardless, I enjoyed it for what it was – a spectacular war movie spiced with some juvenile comedy, animated in a unique style that ………
Aw, who am I kidding. It was STAR WARS! It had multiple light saber battles!!
Here’s what I liked:
A lot of clone troopers died. That’s what they were for. The voice of Obi-wan was very much like Ewan McGregor. Next best thing and all that. And Obi-wan’s temperament and battle skill is most impressive here. Mace Windu, though not a lead character in this ‘episode’, was voiced by Sam Jackson. Realistic background, stylistic characters. This combination somehow made it seem less cartoony. The clone troopers all had the same face and voice, which was VERY similar to Tem Morrison, the original Jango Fett. They also had different hair styles and colors and scars and stuff to differentiate them. Jabba the Hutt spoke in Huttese and sounded just like he did in Return of the Jedi. Some of the phrases were even recognizable, to those of us who were, at one time, students of Huttese.
Here’s what I did NOT like. (to varying degrees, least hated first):
The WB intro, rather than the 20th Century Fox fanfare. Minor, but the fanfare traditionally introduces the quiet electric blue of “A long time ago…”. Then the Clone Wars logo pops up, fades back, the action kicks off, and the voice-over kicks in. VOICE-OVER. No crawl. If you’re going to market and present it as a Star Wars MOVIE, then do the title and crawl. The opening music is a cartoonish version of the original theme. I don’t have the music vocabulary to describe it but it just wasn’t the same. The soundtrack all the way through does not stand out. A lot of clone troopers died. One was even decapitated. No mourning was showed. I always thought mourning them would make their story more realistic, more authentic. Obi-wan and Anakin don’t even blink when they go down, and they just send the rest in for another wave. Ahsoka, Anakin’s padawan, is Miley freakin’ Cyrus with a light saber. The whole idea of her character is what bugs me - the blatant targeting of tween girls. The execution of her character is fine. She shows her smarts and quickly learns to follow directions in battle. She calls Anakin “Sky Guy”, but only twice that I noted, not ‘the whole move’ as some reviewers declared. He uses HER nickname, Snips, more often, and more irritatingly! Jabba the Hutt’s son was another thing that other reviewers found unbearable. He was hardly featured! He burped once! Last AND least, we have Zero the Hutt. Jabba is featured multiple times in the movie, always speaking his native Huttese, translated through a protocol droid. His character is presented with a respectful eye to what came before. His uncle Zero, however, is the worst part of the entire movie. Zero lives on Coruscant, which I guess makes him an urban Hutt. He has tattoos that make it look like he’s wearing a nylon do-rag with neon markings. He is a countertenor, with a faux gangsta vocabulary that sounds like a bunch of geeky white guys tried to invent a faux gangsta vocabulary!
My (lowered) expectations obviously changed the experience for me. I had read many reviews that painted it in such a bad light. I liked the animation, the action, the characterization. I didn’t like the marketing, the music, and the new characters. I am looking forward to the weekly episodes, actually. There was an extended preview on TV this weekend, and it showed some exciting bits.
George is listed as Executive Producer. The less he is involved, the better it will be.
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